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THE BOOK

We make you laugh. You invite us for a Coke and Amazon for beer.

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If you arrived to this page, chances are you are looking for two things: a free sample and some reviews to help you decide whether to part with your hard earned cash (wishful thinking, we know… too much Tinder, probably). We have got you covered:

FREE SAMPLE

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BOOK REVIEWS

It’s not easy to start a book… let alone finish it! And yet Tinder PRO-files is available for your purchasing pleasure courtesy of Amazon. However, we know what you are thinking… Before buying you want to know what your peers think about it. We believe this is fair enough. We have therefore gathered a small sample of our reviews, trying to avoid the pathetic attempt of presenting our book as something more than what it is: a solid 4 out of 5. surely no more, possibly no less. We would like to begin with some reviews that both surprised us and hurt us. We respect each and every one of our reader but we honestly think that in some cases the unjustified public shaming and the age of the reviewer should be taken into consideration.

Anonymous Amazon CEO,45

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“Stop publishing fantasy reviews of the book on your site, or we’ll get more than 65% off any of those you sell.”

Anonymous Tesla Autopilot,2

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β€œDrove me crazy. A crash course in dating.”

Anonymous Google AI,2

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β€œNot your average sociological book. I didn’t get it.”

As you can see, we are trying to be transparent, and show all points of views. However, we are human, and we are trying to sell you something, so let us brag a bit and show you what celebrities have said about us so far:

Liam Neeson,64

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“Great book. I was extremely taken.”

Bob Dylan,75

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“Wish I wrote this.”

Jon Snow,25

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β€œNow I know something.”

If that wasn’t enough, we also enjoyed some international success thanks to the free movement of files on the internet. Believe it or not, influential people read our book and found it inspiring and thoughtful. Some of them even wrote us privately: in order to preserve our reviewers’ identities for obvious political reasons, we will abstain from publishing their age as a respectful exception.

Anonymous Russian dictator,??

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“A hack of a book. Couldn’t stop laughing. ”

Anonymous British PM,??

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“HardlyΒ appropriate. Let’s Brexit these guys.”

Anonymous Korean supreme leader,??

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“The bomb. I should write my own.”

Unlike on our personal Tinder profiles, we are not trying to showcase our very best: we really want you to get the big picture and make an informed choice by yourself. We asked some random readers we knew to give us a honest review: this is what came back, unedited.

Unimpressed Tinder match,28

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“Now I know why you were so good with pick up lines…”

Anonymous Tinder user,18

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“I read thisΒ book beforeΒ a dateΒ with a sapiosexual MILF, I am not a virgin anymore. Thank you.”

Anonymous American Tinder user,45

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“It’s like 50 Shades of Tinder. But with ketchup.”

Anonymous Tinder match, 31

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“Hey…”

Average Tinder Joe,25

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“I only read Facebook, don’t know what to do with this”

Anonymous Tinder user, 24

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“That was my profile!”

Last but not least, the family. Confirming yet again that we are the solid 4 we promised in the beginning of this infomercial.

Mum, 64

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“I think you should put you photo on the back, maybe you’ll find a gf.”

Dad, 65

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“I had a way better profile than those when I matched with your mum.”

Sister, 33

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“Best first book you ever wrote.”

American nephew, 0

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“*baby sound* – *baby smile*”

God, ∞

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β€œWell done turning the 2016 stone tablets update I sent you into a pdf, son. Nice title.”