Where to swipe | Crazy and creepy Tinder profiles
Straight out of the straitjacket and on...to Tinder. The third chapter in the collection of the craziest and creepiest profiles ever written on Tinder profiles.
Tinder, profile, crazy, funny, creepy, scary, creep, openers, bio, epic
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PART 3

Benjamin,28

I may or may not be “that” guy. Respect my pronouns! I am to be referred to as the great one or great ones depending on if it’s raining or not and if my shoes are blue. If I am in a group refer to them as a flock of awesome. Be sure to message me on how you self identify and what your pronouns are even though I self identify as a honey badger and well we just don’t give a fu*k.

WHERETOSWIPE.COM
Conan,44

1st. I need a date to a crawfish Boil.
2nd, I’d like a good quality GF, but I’ll settle for hookup if that’s all you want.
— I don’t care if you’re a communist, atheist, serial killer. I’ll date you. Crawfish isn’t meat. It’s a bug, it doesn’t have milk, so you vegans can still partake. It won’t mess up your weirdness.
— I HAVE dated communists, atheists, and the daughter of an infamous serial killer before

WHERETOSWIPE.COM
Michael,24

I’m working on my psychology degree and hope to graduate in a year. Until then all I’m doing is working out and going on a simple journey to be the very best. Like no one ever was. But seriously I’m gonna become a Pokemon Master and study psychology in my spare time. I don’t like people but if my dog doesn’t like you then i will definitely hate you. Besides trying to take over the world with my two genetically experimented mice I’m pretty laid back.

WHERETOSWIPE.COM
Khang,25

Khang is an immortal, born to the god Ares 3000 years ago in the deep abyss of the Hawaiian volcanoes of kamakawikamkow’ole under the full moon.

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Lexi,27

Like a German Riesling, suitors find me to be lusciously sweet yet delightfully bold with well-balanced sophistication, complexity & earthy overtones…

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Matt,29

My life goal is to have my dog say “yes” when I ask her if she’s comfortable when she goes to bed I also own the burger King ‘king’s mask’, and a three foot tall plastic penguin.

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Mike,32

I wear a special cologne. It’s called Sex Panther by Odeon. It’s illegal in nine countries and it’s made with bits of real panther, so you know it’s good. If you’re vegan no! If you are easily offended fuck off!

WHERETOSWIPE.COM
Helen,22

Friendly bisexual femme alien. Professional big spoon/Sagittarius. I love making fun of fu*kboys + talking about intersectionality while wearing dark lipstick. I get emotional about cows. Looking for new friends!

WHERETOSWIPE.COM
Marcelo,24

We have no common interests on here because I use Facebook to look at hundreds of shi**y meme pages. Trick me with fake pictures you found online invite me to your house and fu*king kill me. Swipe now!

WHERETOSWIPE.COM
Patrick,24

Sometimes I like to swipe dudes if I’m bored and the ladies run out.

WHERETOSWIPE.COM
Julie,24

Very low key… Except the time I poisoned my boss… Kinda low key.

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Ian,27

Up for dates… but I’m in flux as a person so tying me down is unlikely.

WHERETOSWIPE.COM

 

 

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