Where to swipe | Crazy and creepy Tinder profiles - Part 2
Straight out of the straitjacket and on...to Tinder. The second chapter in the collection of the craziest and creepiest profiles ever written on Tinder.
Tinder, profile, crazy, funny, creepy, scary, creep, openers, bio, epic



I thought 2day of my love for music how I always need that quick fix how in my fam the styles are all in a mix…u can tell through my page’s links there aint no chinks from the man who beasts the sax always n forever takin it 2 the max to the cuz who’s a women playin the violin never giving u a time in….was it a situation staged from the roots you’d never believe the way we all rock the suites!!!! What I speak dare not be fiction but era relativity, reality, destiny so don’t mess with me…its a waste of time bc in it all rights will be mine…hahaha I laugh @ pain bc at the end of the day I TAKE THOSE REIGNS!!!!!
“Brotherhood is a serious concept, to understand ones self, he must first understand the company in Brotherhood he keeps” – Me
“How can you head to the clouds with your face to the ground? You don’t!
How can you march to your own beat with constant resistance? its easy..laugh..simple math!
How do you overcome obstacles and problems in your path? you don’t because there are none!!
Why do people hate? Because they don’t believe any of the above.
A wise man said “you make the same ish..me I make the blueprint”, so you know that means I outline my life & you ain’t jockin no strife!!! Keep ya head up girl keep ya head up boy this life works once so don’t treat it like a toy. Cherrish & adore, in the end it’ll mean so much more. Switch it up…give a F$#@* oops…cuz cant no body pimp the same shoes…” – Me.


Sick twisted fu*k. Misanthrope. Experimental film. Motorcycles. Intense to the point of obsession. Sexually deviant psychology. Extremes of filth and wholesomeness in equal measure. The profound doom and sorrow of humanity pushes those of us tuned to perceive it into the void. We remain there in madness or we pass to the other side with dense experience of the utterly grotesque realities of our miserable existence. Trauma is sexy. Show me your self-harm scars. If you socialize I will hate you.


I’m a simple kind of guy that likes his beer cold and his chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs. Pokemon Go players accepted looking for a Scyther Things I like: Video Games Comic Book Movies Comic Books Holding your hand at a scary movie because I’m terrified Fuckin Netflix Game of Thrones Harry Potter Star Wars Dogs Dancing Drinking Driving while dancing Superman>Batman You ever just stop and think how floors are just walls that are sideways? You’ve already swiped left haven’t you?


I want a victim not a boyfriend.


Being kidnapped is on my bucket list.


Every time I close my eyes I see old people fu*king.


Fu*k you, pay me. Degenerate scum. Aspiring Stalin but will settle for Ayatollah of Iran. Smells of economic desperation. Professional race mixer. I like huffing glue and long walks off of short piers. I’m worse than dropping your phone into the shitter. I’m a friendly fascist and a tyrant you can trust. I’m mostly on here for shits and giggles. My whole profile is a joke just like human existence.


Jurassic Park, Independence Day, Godzilla(1998) I have terrific chest hair I am under the surveillance of advanced beings. The question of whether or not they are human is a question I don’t know the answer to. Animals are cool I’m totally down to send dog pics X-Files What if Orcas had thumbs? Do think they would have fucked up things down there as bad as we did up here?


Swiper, no swiping! Robin Williams is my spirit animal. Full time space cowboy vacationing here in the 505. Sometimes I wish I was Frank Sinatra, and I wear suspenders daily, have since I was young. In the famous words of Oscar Wilde: “This wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death, either it goes, or I do.” I just wanna spend my time floating down the river with a 30-pack of beer.


Motorcycling hooligan with a penchant for chaos and an appetite for destruction. Hail Satan! I am abrasive and concise. While we’re on the subject, I really don’t give a shit if you “not a girly girl who’s super into football”.


Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go on an overnight drunk, and in 10 days I’m going to set out to find the shark that ate my friend and destroy it. Anyone who wants to join me is more than welcome. Bring a pen knife. Over.


I’m a Renaissance man. I fu*k sh*t up, but quietly and with a smile. Books are great, so is running in circles. 2 + 2 = 5. I challenge gentleman to fights. I’m always victorious. I’m about good times and occasional rhymes, won’t you join me?




TAGS > ,